The design blog you are reading was two years in the making. The idea came to me when John and I bought our house.
Construction of the house took a year.
Then there was the busy-ness of moving in. And getting settled. And then the holidays. I also needed a laptop.
After I ran out of excuses, I sat my ass down and punched out 12 blog posts over the course of a week just to “get some in the can” as we used to say in my newspaper days.
Most of these posts were written a month ago. And more posts are ready to be written if only I could peel myself away from news about CoVid-19 long enough to set out an Easter dish towel and take a picture of it.
I’m not alone.
Shortly before I launched the blog, I created an Instagram account – designing_goldilocks – and began following other design bloggers, influencers and hobbyists. Partly for inspiration and partly to share the love with them in the hopes that they would return the favor.
But in between the colored eggs, bunny figurines, and gingham tablecloths, I have realized these women have more than the love of designing their home in common with me. They have anxiety.
Instead of curling up in bed to IG stories of springtime tablescapes, I lie in bed and listen to their struggles of the day. My struggles of the day.
On March 12, my employer sent me home with my laptop in response to the coronavirus pandemic. I haven’t left the house since.
Not even to check my mail.
I haven’t driven my car.
I haven’t stepped over the threshold of my front door.
I ventured into the alley today to bring in the trash bin and immediately turned back when I saw two neighbors driving up on their bikes.
I’m afraid someone will pass the virus on to me and then on to John who falls into the sensitive group category.
Because I haven’t left the house, I have had to subscribe to a grocery delivering service. The first time a delivery came, I answered the door and retrieved the bags from my shopper wearing a mask and latex gloves.
The second time, I advised the shopper to put the groceries in the box that John set out on the front porch and then drive away. Once I deemed enough time had passed, I opened the door and retrieved the bags. Also while wearing a mask and gloves.
My anxiety is at an all-time high over this pandemic. I barely open the windows and let in fresh air for fear the virus is wafting in the air.
I feel fine when I’m locked in my office and working my day job. I’ve even taken on extra hours to keep myself occupied. And the extra money won’t hurt. But once I punch the clock, the anxiety kicks in.
I love my house and I love being at home. I’m a homebody by nature and never saw the appeal of buzzing around town on weekends. But social distancing by choice and social distancing to save your life are two very different realities.
The thought of something deadly lurking on the other side of my front door has made me sick. It has paralyzed me. And I’m not the only one. My fellow designers are living the same paralysis.
Maybe there is a connection between creating the perfect home and anxiety. There is something about order. Organization. Everything in its place.
I have kidded a few times these past two weeks about picking a fine time to start a design blog. Just when I’m about to write about purchases from my favorite stores, a global pandemic hits and forces retailers to temporarily close their doors out of an abundance of caution for their employees and shoppers.
But maybe the blog is just what I needed during these scary times. And not just to keep my mind focused on something I love, but for the community of women who otherwise would not have been in my life during these scary times.
Designing Goldilocks 